My Life, As I Know It

Oh Stupidity

2007-01-15T14:56:00.000-08:00

I was sitting in a frieds car this weekend reflecting on life as I know it, and I couldn't help but notice how souring relationships are. Everyone I know, learns nothing from their past, really. They just moan about how hard done by they are, and how it was all the other person and not them. HA! yeah that's right I said HA! If you speak of someone else saying that they are some pound animal that you threw a bone to...then chances are it wasn't only them screwing up in that situation. Why would someone date a person that they believe is beneath them? Settleing for someone just because they are something to do is unfair, and very stupid. And all it does is make you MORE BITTER when it ends. Because you start saying things like "I can't believe I couldn't even keep him/her..I mean ew..." "but then again why whould I wan't to *ahahahah...*. Yeah and as the half assed laughter fades away, and the reality sets in, and the bitter tone and harsh words come back with a vengence. I never understood the point of staying with someone you aren't attracted to, or are kind of attracted to, but more as a "hey look at my pretty friend, isn't she smart..." and less as a "hey look at my pretty girlfriend"*maul*. It's an exercise in futility people, settleing for someone that you aren't "completely satisified" with, is ideotic. For if you are already settleing, think of how completely unsatisfied with them you're going to be a few years from now. This is not the age of contentment, this is the age of deleriously happy moments, and passion(depending on labido levels ofcourse). if you are just content...leaning more towards, "kill me", then it's time to go, and find someone you actually feel like you had to work to attain. Someone you're actually going to put on your wall of fame, and not "return to the dog catcher".

Another Part of that same story

2006-11-10T22:44:00.000-08:00

She felt sad today, really sad, sitting and holding an empty chocolate egg that her husband had given her. Fitting she thought, since his love for her was just a sugar coating, and never seemed to have much substence. Every time he told her, she just wanted to scream "SHOW ME, SHOW ME THIS LOVE, WHERE THE HELL IS IT, I DON'T SEE IT, I CAN'T TOUCH IT, WHERE IS IT?". But refrained for she knew that would be a little too hollywood for him to handle. And even though she knew his love wasn't real, she didn't want him to tell her that he felt nothing for her.

Why was her ability to believe so broken she wondered. No other man had confessed to loving her, she'd never been decieved, why couldn't she believe him? As far as she knew, it was because he was a man of action for everyone but her. Someone expressed need, he acted on impulse, out of desire and obligation. For her, the need was ignored, heard but never acted on. It drove her to madness, but she couldn't leave. What kind of logic could she implore for such a devorce, after 20 years "You never loved me". She hadn't believed him for one single solitary year, but here she stood, her first name followed by his last. Why?

Because she loved him, she loved every minute of him, and that was why it killed her. She would break every promise to spend a moment with him, watch a friend cry on their birthday and not blink. Like any addiction, she tried to fight him, but it only ended in tears. His only crime was not proving how he felt, he was never violent, never hurtful, what would be the point of leaving? How do you tell someone that you don't believe them when they tell you that they love you, she wondered, every day of her life. So full of love, crying, staring at an empty chocolate egg.

The truth was that she knew that he loved her, she knew it but couldn't bare to join the two facts. She would feel it every once and a while, that bolt of feeling pass between them and take a part of her face with it. But how could she bare to feel that way always, every time it happened her heart ached. Could she make herself feel it after all these years? She stared at herself in the mirror, blotchy and smudged, and said "yes". She broke the chocolate egg in half and placed a small figurine she had bought him years before inside it. "I got you this because I love you" she said to herself, "and you bought me this for the same reason, this empty chocolate egg with pretty engravings carved into it, so here is my proof". She stared at her creation, half laughing, half crying, and then she heard the door.

He walked in looking rather purplexed, his blotchy wife cackleing at a chocolate egg surrounding a figurine, she was beautiful. He knew he'd never been good at telling her how much he couldn't live without her, but these were the moments he loved, coming home the an unmedicated crazy person. "What is it this time dear?" he half chuckled as he began undoing his neck tie.

"Look, you love me, this proves it" she responded, now just smileing.

"Yeah I know I do" he said, "but I don't see how that proves it"...

"You bought me this because you were thinking of me, because you love me, and I bought you this for the same reason, together they mean we love eachother"

He began rethinking that whole unmedicated thing as he watched her say this, but then remembered, better her think that the small things meant the most, than demand grand gestures only to claim that they meant nothing. He knew it was the small things, a note on the fridge, a long hug before he left on business, just little things that he did to let her know that he loved her. He wanted her to remember that, because he couldn't imagine his life without his beautiful, unmedicated, crazy wife that he'd loved so completely for so many years.

Story

2006-11-07T18:14:00.000-08:00

It was late, so late that her brain had stopped wondering if he was dead or alive, and had finally realized that he was with her. She had always wondered how long it had run for, this tawdry affair of his, but at this point she did not care. Determined to forget: she showered, dressed in her night clothes, and collapsed into bed. As the comforter coated her body, she let sleep wash away the past year, and the memories turn to ash. This fire had burned for so long that the wood was no longer wood, just charcoal coated in embers.

Suddenly she awoke, 2am, he was covered in rain water and his tie fell loose on his body. She looked at him like a stranger that she would normally pity, this broken man that stood in front of her. But it wasn't a stranger, he was still that man she loved. Why had he run to another she did not know, nor did she care. He took off his soaked loafers and gave her another deep look. "I am sorry" he said, or did he say it, she thought and then knew he hadn't. They had been together so long that these things were never said. She couldn't remember the last time he said that he loved her, he would just give her that look, and they would both know. They couldn't bare to cheapen their love with words, yet he could bare to cheapen it with an affair. She laughed as that dawned on her, and then looked at him again.

As he took off his overcoat, something came over her, a desire she had known before. She leapt out of her bed as though she had been bitten, but then stopped. This was too familiar, she filled with passion, him filled with indifference, guilt, even appologies. In a fit of rage she contained her desire and fell back on her bed, sitting once again, defeated. Sex had always been her doing. He played allong but never really seemed to want her. He would give her the look from time to time, but it would always be on her to act on it. She had decided that tonight was not that night, She didn't want to be the deciding factor anymore.

Something was different this time though, the broken man she first caught sight of, the disheveled tie and dripping hair, was standing before her. This man was not sorry, he was guilty, and he didn't care.

As he lifted her off her soft comforter, her head began to spin. When was the last time her husband had taken her like this, had he ever? He pressed himself against her, the rain water seeping into her nightclothes, his guilt flowing into her with every deep kiss. His arms began to shake but neither of them stopped. He wrapped her legs around him, not caring about anything that had come before, or what would come after.She couldn't fight him. She tried to return to her usual habit of taking control, struggled, but was only held tighter, kissed deeper. He placed her on her feat and began shedding his clothes, they thudded to the floor, as she watched in awe. Who was this man that looked so much like the one she loved, but possessed none of his characteristics. He took her clothes with no care, new night clothes now tattered on the floor.

He stood there for a moment, hearing the rain falling outside, and then remembered. He picked her up again, rushed to the back door and practically fell down the back steps. This was not the night for their usual vanilla flavored romance. Outside she slipped on the grass, fell, and he fell with her. Pinned by this new man that she knew nothing of, she was powerless.

He, filled with a new feeling a manhood and possessed by role he had never played in his youth, exerted his new found power over her. In that pool on the grass she had no control. The pleasure, everything was his doing, she was scared, but it was the kind of fear that she had always wanted to feel.

Lovers unburdened by worry or affliction. He, having shead his guilt on the floor of their old house and she without those painful memories. Making love the way they always wanted to.

Soaked with rain water and passion, they experienced what it was to be truly alive. This in the one place where their old flame, only hours before, had died.

I fucking hate that bonnie lass! (On a Book)

2006-10-17T15:42:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time
I saw a wee lass.
She told me a tall tale
and it kicked me right in the ass.

Now I play it safe,
only nice girls will I date.
Though they are not my desired mate,
it's better than the memories that I do hate.

The wee lass was once nice,
fangs appeared only after we rolled the dice.
So I must close myself off to you,
but I don't want to tell you that we're through.

I fight my manhood every day to come to your door,
and look in to those eyes that I adore.
You smile and I forget that wee lass,
how long until you kick me in the ass?

I love you, I really do,
but because of that wee lass,
too soon will you and I be through.

The meaning of our melding will never fade,
it is like a rose that grew in the shade.
I am sorry we could not be strong,
my heart was guarded for far too long.

Goodbye my bonnie lass,
I know, I just kicked you right in the ass.

--- I came up with this based on a story I read today. It was about a boy who found the girl he wanted to be with but wouldn't admit it because he was consumed by his past and didn't really know who he was. It was an interesting story, I reccomend it.

10 Reasons Why I'm Happy

2006-10-15T17:44:00.000-07:00

1. I think I've finally reached a place in my life where I have my own measuring cup. I went out to the metaphorical supermarket and returned the cups that all of my friends had given me and finally purchased the Vanessa super edition measuring cup with disney characters and crazy art on it.
2. I can have something bad happen to me, and still pick up my texbook and read it. You know, instead of wasting 16 hours talking on the phone/msn until it's still not done, the midterm is the next day, and I just feel tired. The only talking I do now is to future employers!
3. My friends give me standing ovations when I sing at coffee shops...It's awesome...even though it's orchastrated..thanks eric!
4. Instead of filtering my oppinions, I try to filter others. You speak from your point of view, and I speak from mine. Don't for one second think you know what the hell I need to be happy.
5. I still have friends, and they seem to love me, and I do love them with all my little heart:)
6. My family has never been stronger, and my mom is getting married in september.
7. Though my bonding streak is at a standstill, I am still able to carry on and not feel alone.
8. Enough is enough, and I wont let myself want for anything I can't do by myself.
9. I'm finally bonding with my school work, helps when you have lots of inspireing friends, and a lad who's eyes light up when he talks about old courses.
10.

Fate Has a Wicked Sense of Humor!

2006-10-12T16:03:00.000-07:00

Alright so I've become a slacker, I admit it, stick the sign on my back and send me to the corner with the dunce cap atop my head.

I had the weirdest day today, it was good, but still weird. I hadn't finished my write up for my presentation that I had to do today, so I asked my boss to let me off early. I thought I was in the clear, go home, take 3 hours max to write a 2 page hand out, and then get on the bus to go to class. But what did fate say..she said "ha! dream on!". I get home and start writing my hand out up when the power, in my whole house, goes out..and then proceeds to turn on and off as I struggle to finish this thing before my laptop signs off. Bad news folks...my lap top signed out and by the time i got to school..it was too late to do much of anything. But while I was waiting for a chance to catch my tutorial leader, low and behold she pops out of nowhere because someone else had sent her an e-mail saying that she wanted to meet her before class, LUCKY BREAK FOR ME! Or so I thought before I started talking about the write up and the black out and watched as it fell and shattered on deaf ears... chances are that my chances to do said presentation are now oblitterated "you waited until a matter of hours before class and then were thwarted by a black out..yeah...too bad" which is what my professor is going to say when he catches wind of it. Oh that Vanessa isn't she a funny one..put that on a calender or something! Oh man..time to remove the slacker sign from my back and get to passing this class.. hopefully I've come to in time! On every other note possible this was a good day, man I've never been utterly defeated by procrastination like this, it's bizarre!

Post Doctors Appointment

2006-10-10T16:22:00.000-07:00

"I am content with what is happening in my life.

No matter how deep I get, it wont be too deep, and no matter how hurt I get, I wont be too hurt, because through it all, I am the same person.

I will invest myself completely in all of my relationships because fear has ruled my life for long enough.

I will also never take myself for granted because I am the only one that can keep me alive.

No person is worth falling to pieces over, and no opinion is completely just, therefore I will no longer allow myself to be steamrolled by ignorance.

My friends have their lives and their own damage, and I can't be consumed by it anymore.

I am happy, and I am strong.

Whether I am attached or single, faithful or faithless, open or closed, crying or laughing: I will always possess those traits, and no one can take them away from me.

I am a woman who knows who she is and who she wants to be.

If this is a mask then I will wear it proudly until the end of my life, for it is the only persona I can master.

If I can't find someone who will appreciate and admire that, then let me spend the rest of my life alone, for I will not spend the rest of my life proving that I'm worth it, those days are over.

Those who do not appreciate what I have to give and teach them shall be stricken from my life for I will no longer tolerate insolence and insensitivity for it is nuclear waste in the river that is my life, and it's killing me.

If I do not witness perfection, perfection should not be expected of me, nor should I expect it of myself. This I vow"

Please note that this is not directed at any of you, I was just proud of my finished product and wanted to post it. Should anyone take this personally, I am not responsible. IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU..IT'S ABOUT ME!

2006-09-20T02:06:00.000-07:00

Hurting.....can't sleep...clown will eat me

These Are The Days That I Thank God I'm Strong

2006-09-19T22:58:00.000-07:00

I had a really rough couple of days for the past week, and I didn't quite know what to do with myself. But after a couple of real soul searching days it has started to get a lot better. I don't quite know what to do with myself in my new situation but I am starting to recover from all the trauma that i've been going through. It's kind of sad though, at the moment I don't really have anyone who I can turn to. Not saying that I don't have friends, just that the friends that I have shouldn't be burdened with my problems. That and some of them wound when they try to advise...which makes me feel even worse. On a happier note, though I was verbally assulted by one of my friends this weekend, most of my other friends are finally happy. Even my friends that still want for a lot are having a way better time this year than they did last year. I don't quite know what to post here, since my last entry there have been a lot of changes in my life, but I don't know if now is the best time to talk about them. I'm just trying to get to a place where I'm okay, now that my emotions have started running extremely high (for good reason). This is by far my worst post..but I had to say something...hate this!
<3 Nessa

Well Thats Another Year Of Experiences

2006-04-23T15:40:00.000-07:00

Wow...Second semester was awesome, I made new friends, I got out there and did everything that I wanted to do, I feel great! The sun is out, my hopes are high and I already have two jobs lined up again for the summer! Who kicks ass? I DO! Anyways I should get back to packing, just thought I would post on an up note for a change, it's been a while since I've done that. I love my friends, I love my family, but most of all I love my kitties:)

The Juicy Fruit Of Women

2006-04-18T03:17:00.000-07:00

I sit here wondering what it is I've done wrong,
I smile, I kiss you, then look up and you are gone.
I wish it was the first time,
but alas it's not the last,
for the poison in my lips was there before the die was cast.

Is it something that I am doing?
a move that is always wrong?
there are girls to which their addiction is like that of to cocaine,
why can't mine last that long?

Once you pull away,
attraction evaporates into vapor,
I lie there with the stars,
while you remain the victor.

So leave me in my tears,
leave me with my heart of lead,
I am tired of seeing you,
tasting these salty tears I always shed.

For if I am not addictive,
I am not worth your time.
I am 25 cents to your nickel,
and worth far more than your dime.

A Vanessa Davey Original...April, 18th, 2006
Copy or take credit for and feel my wrath.

Ravished or Not, She Shows You Everything.

2006-04-06T01:29:00.000-07:00

She stands in front of you naked,
arms outstretched but still at her side.
Is this an offering,
or is there still something that she hides?

In her state she is not trembling,
her mood is calm and deep.
She is wondering why you stay still,
when it is the time for you to leap.

This is not a naked innocence
that begs for the corruption of penetration.
It is a beautiful surrender of self,
she demands your attention.

Is she a women of the night,
who has had more men than she has clothes.
Or a virgin,
who has more friends than she has foes.

When naked it doesn't matter,
she is pure she is sweet.
Because in the end,
she becomes a secret you can't keep.

By Vanessa D, April 6, 2006.

Well Frig

2006-03-19T23:21:00.000-08:00

Dear Vanessa,
Here is your horoscope
for Sunday, March 19:

A situation or a relationship may be reaching the point of no return. Rather than trying to do a dramatic 180, ask yourself what your life will look like afterward. You might be better off letting this one go.

.....Ugh...fine then, see you later!

This I Know

2006-02-22T12:50:00.000-08:00

Most of this is taken from James Blunts "Goodbye My Lover". It always takes my breath away to find a song that I can relate to beyond a shadow of a doubt. It rarely happens, but when it does, it feels like the song flows straight into my brain and becomes part of me. I'm not emo, I don't slit my wrists, I don't want to die, and I don't cry myself to sleep. I am just someone who enjoys truth in lyrics, and that is all.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you laugh, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the mother of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I must live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so shallow, baby, I'm so shallow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so shallow.

The songs that play the music from my soul,
The patience I will never know,
I've taken advantage,
I've laughed at the savage.
Taking all the parts that I can't take
Leaving them underneath the ice that can't break.
I can live without everything,
I need nothing to survive,
But as long as they are happy,
part of me is still alive.
I spread the news,
I open my arms,
only to be ripped apart by their charms.
Goodbye my lovers,
goodbye my friends,
I will remember you until my life’s end.

Well Smack My Face And Call Me Baby...

2006-02-17T12:09:00.000-08:00

Dear Vanessa,
Here is your horoscope
for Friday, February 17:

As charming as you are, some people just refuse to be swayed. Stop pouting. Sometimes there's nothing to be done but shrug your shoulders and move on. Frankly, it's their loss, and you have better things to do.

This was my horoscope for today, isn't that just a huge "aw geez" moment? Apparently people aren't worth my time if they don't like me? Hahahaha gosh I guess that means that I’m not worth the time of people I don't like either. That makes some semblance of sense, but it also makes me laugh a blue streak. My horoscope has been right on lately though, I mean on the day that I was part of an outplacement this was my horoscope:

Dear Vanessa,
Here is your horoscope
for Friday, January 27:

A particularly difficult person is actually a spiritual lesson for you, but in a very annoying disguise. Try and see what life lesson or great truth this person is trying to communicate -- then send them on their way.

A spiritual lesson eh? Right then. But yes it has been a very interesting couple of horoscope days, kind of makes me sad for Gemini's everywhere. If this is happening to me, it must be happening to them too. Don't worry my spiritual twin brothers and sisters it'll get better...at least I hope so.

My New Obsession, The Internet Quiz

2006-02-08T20:12:00.000-08:00

Some what kinky, your up for certain things but in

the end your more likely to watch.

How kinky are you?
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CA Rant

2006-02-08T14:13:00.000-08:00

Okay I have had it up to here with residence and housing! I know you can't see where "here" is but it's high. This is the second year in a row that they've failed to hire one of my really good friends. Honestly people, there is no other person that I think could do this job better than Lindsay. She is funny, open, logical, fun, and understanding. I don't understand why these people can't see this. I mean I knew it the second I saw her. JERK FACES!!!!
Keeping It Classily yours... the annoyed one

Where Oh Where Has My Adhesiveness Gone?

2006-02-06T13:56:00.000-08:00

Wow, life is going to totally curb stomp me this year. I know that’s not a very exciting outlook, but really that’s what it looks like. I think it will be good for me though, it’s been 8 years since my last crisis, and I’ve gone soft. I miss the stone hearted leader that I almost was. Mya would probably say that girl never existed, but honestly she did for a time. After grade 8 I got tired of being the girl who was deserted, teased and walked all over so I decided to create my own group. I got together a group of misfits and became their glue. Yes, that does sound pretentious and self-richeous but it’s what happened. I wasn't their god or anything, I was just their glue, the force that bound them to each other. God I miss those days. I felt like the president of the coolest club ever, because we didn't do drugs, or get drunk every weekend, we were just us. Lunch wasn't a popularity contest and boys were just fun to look at. Not that it would matter now, because high school is over, but I wish I could have done the same thing here in university. Everything is so separate now, like pieces of what use to be, and people flow in and out of my life like water.

It’s been my course, I am loved or liked intensely(or seemingly so) and then slowly the interest is thinned until the people don't stick to me any more. Why is it that no one sticks around? Yes reader that is now looking at this post and calling me a stupid emo chick, I do know that people have their own lives and their own courses to run, but why the intense love only to end in indifference? The only times that has happened to me were when the person burned me so badly that my fondness for them wore out, or they got tired of me, forcing me to get tired of chasing them. Even for those people, when they started asking me to hang out again, or apologized for the burn, I picked up where I left off.

Am I some sort of extreme forgiveness being, or am I so weak that I don’t have the will to eliminate or veto(ahahaha veto, god)? I have no idea. But to the many individuals who in the course of a month have phased me out, I bid you the fondest farewell, and all the best of luck in the future.

I AM KELLY

2006-02-01T19:16:00.000-08:00

Which "Saved By The Bell" Character Are You?

I AM SETH

2006-02-01T19:02:00.000-08:00

The Past Few Months

2006-01-30T01:14:00.000-08:00

Well in the past few months many things have happened to me, some good, some bad, and some that fall somewhere in the middle. I am not sure what I should be saying in this post because I'm not feeling sad, angry or deliriously happy. I had an amazing start to second year doing ROL, tried taking 5 courses, had a job that I did every Friday (get your minds out of the gutter;)), got a boyfriend, hung out at every pub night, had a great Christmas, had a strange new years, lost said boyfriend, and then went on my merry way. Am I allowed to say that in a blog that everyone and their 10 year old can read? I suppose I am since I didn't say anything specific about any of the things that happened. Who allows us to do the things we do in our lives? First it is our parents, then our friends, then our school, then our work, and then the law. When is it that we allow ourselves to act on our own terms? When is our interaction with the world around us only because we decide to interact. I don't know, but it is an interesting question. Anyways I am tired, and oddly contemplative, ahhh the side effects of taking sociology. I sign off as I let the worlds questions lull me to sleep.

Haha

2006-01-25T12:35:00.000-08:00

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Facials

2005-12-05T00:12:00.000-08:00

This is all of us with lip scrub on, clensing our hands. HOT
This is laurisa looking truly adorable in light pink eye shadow and brown lip gloss that doesn't really show up in this pic.
here I am modeling light pink eyeshadow and light brown lipstick, with foundation for a smooth look.

This is shilpa after she got a facial from Vanessa, the girl from Mary K. Doesn't she just look B-E-A utiful?! Today was really awesome because a bunch of us girls got to get facials and play around with Mary K products. Shilpa is modeling light brown eyeshadow and light brown lipstick.
P.S This is what the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated ;)And my face and hands feel really soft right now:)

Dinner With The Fam

2005-12-02T23:35:00.000-08:00

The Fam, Cass, Dona, Ali, and Grams

My uncle Alek came back from Soul to visit us before christmas as he has done every year since he moved there to teach english. I was nice to see him again! We went to the fish house. The food was awesome, go there!

Me having too much fun with my camera again. Mom and Grams smile to keep from smacking me:D.

Are You In, Or Are You Out?

2005-11-27T15:38:00.000-08:00

Right now my life seems like a very mundane version of cruel intentions. God keeps closing doors and opening windows in a sort of twisted game of seek (not hide and seek, just seek). I am constantly seeking something, whether it is a way to write a paper, or a way to make sure my friends don't start putting "R.I.P Vanessa" as their msn handles, or more often than both of those seeking a way to deal with the stupid things I say and do on a daily basis. I am just so bored with seeking. I am done. The only thing I am going to seek right now, is a way to make this terrible situation I jumped out of one of those windows into, let me out soon. Interestingly enough this is the first post I have had "GOD" in. Don't get me wrong I am not one of those people that lashes out at the father when the going gets though. I just don't talk about my faith all that much, not until a situation calls for it. For some reason this was the situation that called for it.

Bye

One, Twice My Computer Dies, But I Am Still Smiling, Ignore The Nervous Tick…

2005-11-22T01:42:00.000-08:00

Wow what an interesting two weeks I have had. First OTH aggravates a hole in my hard drive an causes it to crash, and then I get it back from Compaq only to have to return it for a second time because the hard drive they gave me was defective. I could get upset and throw things at the techy *wine glass incoming*, but I wont. I mean the two weeks I spent without a computer were two of the most productive and sane weeks of my life. No msn to use to bother the people who would rather not talk to me, and no ability to watch or download anything. It was me and my ipod for 2 weeks, and most of the time I didn't even use my ipod. Now conveniently enough my ipod is broken (hard drive, one too many hits with the floor) so now it is me and my clock radio. THE FOX is an interesting radio station to try and do homework to. I think maybe I’ll just be without technology for a while and see how it goes. Maybe my lights will blow out and I can do my term papers by candle light with a quill and ink, old school. I am very lucky to have friends that let me use their computers when they are sleeping (I <3 you Shilpa) or reading (I <3 you Lindsay). Anyways it is about time I get back to writeing my paper, to those who read this, thanks for listening.

Defectively yours,

Nessa(*)

2005-09-28T18:14:00.000-07:00

Have you all met my blonde husband to be Aron? Haha or should I say THE PREZ... Or wiggles. It is hard to know exactly what to call him, for he has 3 different personalities that perform different functions. Aron is the one that goes to work during the day, doing filing jobs for that tax center. He keeps himself to himself, not disrupting anything. This guy likes the idea of having a girl that cooks, cleans and thinks he is pretty to come home to. The Prez, is mostly just a fun loving sarcastic, wannabe asshole. I say wannabe, because everything asshole like that comes out of his mouth, isn�t really meant in any sort of serious way. It is more meant to entertain people who like hearing others get teased. You may be reading this thinking �who are these people?� We are all one of those people in some way or another, this is why the Prez exists. Last but not least though, there is Wiggles. This personality is the part of day time Aron that likes to dance like MC hammer and those guys that can make their limbs a completely separate entity from their bodies. Yes wiggles (god what a silly name I made for this one) is the sweet side, the side that might call you pretty in a cute way to your face, if you are the dark skinned dark hair beautiful woman, or a stacked blonde.

Anyways I just thought I would write on my pretend husband to be because it amused me

NOOOOW I am going to pull my foot out of my eye and study, I promise.

Back In The Day

2005-09-28T17:43:00.000-07:00

How about just in the day. I am having an awesome day, granted I feel a little guilty but you know, thats life. I saw so many of my old friends today, woo hoo, how I missed them and their complete moment to moment interest in my life. Hehhe people like that when you try to be life long friends with them it bites, but when your just hi in the hallway friends it's cool. Last night was awesome though, I went around down town until 5am with Rehana, god was it insane. I was verbally assulted by an asian woman at the Y, I stole caution tape. It was awesome. I miss her so much, my little crazy down to earth bundle of fun. Why did you have to hate this school so much??? why???

Anyways I am off to pull my foot out of my eye and get some studying done, over and IN

The end of the summer, and i'm as white as the KKK

2005-08-21T01:04:00.000-07:00

I've seen what adulthood is like, and it makes me want to curl up in the fetal position. For the entire summer I worked two jobs, and I worked my little toosh off. I don't think I have seen more that 3 days worth of sun since the summer began. I've spent most of it inside making beds, or serving pizza to people, or ringing up purchases at Marks Work Warehouse. Is this is what being a so called grown up is like? I think I have discovered why they are so bitchy, and have fuses that aren't even as long as an eyelash anymore. "I have one nerve left and your getting on it" my mom use to say. Working changes people, it changed me. At first I felt like it opened up a whole new area of my mind it was exciting. Now I feel so somber and down to earth, no I feel below the earth. I've seen too much all at once, and experienced too much. It made me plummet beneath the earths crust. Now I sit here staring into the abyss wondering what the point of it is...

Words From The Dead

2005-07-16T15:02:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl with golden hair........how jaded will this girl be by the end of her days? At present is she even sure her heart is beating? Do her deep thoughts no longer touch her own soul? Is she drifting aimlessly through a world that she just wants to ruin? Why is it always the fortionite ones who have no right to be sad, that fuck up the most?

You can answer these questions, but some how I doubt any of them will solve anything. Is there anything to solve? My life is a riddle with no ending and I like it that way. I see too many people trying to "figure out" their lives, as if there is some great problem they need to solve. People make problems for themselves so they don't feel they way the girl with the golden hair feels. If you have little problems that seem huge to think about, you are never sitting and wondering what to do next. God there is nothing wrong with me, now what? Do I make a problem, or celebrate the fact that I have done this without disireing a way to complicate it? Many reach this place and anxiously wait for a work problem, family problem, or a relationship problem to kick them out of it. I await no such thing. Work won't be a problem unless I continue to be late, and even then, they need workers to much to do anything. I do not await a relationship problem for a know the only problems I will have will be of my own doing. If I do not create them, they will not come. I don't await a family problem, for my family is a framiliar problem with no solution. Some days are hard, some days are wonderful. I have no need to fuss with something I don't feel the need to control. But now there is the whole world to think about, without problems of my own should I involve myself emtionally in the problems of the world? Try to feel the pain of the starving? I will involve myself finantially, give money when needed, but in this place I am, it is not empty, but calm. I never want to leave it, for here I am level headed.

The Small but wonderful parts of my life

2005-07-15T12:54:00.000-07:00

Mya if you are looking for my birthday blog, scroll down.

Some days I am so ungrateful for the friends I have made and the parents that I have, but not yesterday. Yesterday I had a very good day including both. After work I went to coffee with Janet and she sorted out the Scott thing for me. I do believe her words were “It sounds like he isn’t into you but enjoyed the idea of sucking your face, which is alright because you’re not ugly.”. Thank you Janet, your facts of life are always welcome in my world! Having coffee with Janet and her mom was cool, we talked about residence and how it went south in second semester. Neither of us had very much fun past the last rez party. She seems to have a pretty open relationship with her mom, kind of like Tara does, which is neat! I had to leave from the coffee meeting early because Tara wanted me to go to a movie with her, and I hadn’t seen my T baby in too long, So off I went to the sky train to go home. When I got there my mom was watering the front garden and decided to spray me a little. I was bothered because she sprayed my bag holding my mp3 and my cell, so I called her a retard in a fun way, and threw my bag over the fence. By this time the gloves were off and it was on. She started full on spraying me on the front side walk as I fought my way through the water to wrestle the hose away from her. I eventually got her a bit wet, but not as wet as I was. It was awesome! I love my mom! She is taking me driving on Saturday, hurrah!

Birthday Fantasy....19 candles

2005-07-11T01:01:00.000-07:00

Okay here it is….As all of you know, I recently turned 19!!!!! I have been 19 since June 21st of this year, and enjoying every minute of my new found freedom. There were intensely cool celebrations with my family at Steamworks. My parents took me out for dinner and drinks, and my mom made me drink. My first legal drink was a strawberry daiquiri, and let me just say this yummmmy!. The topper of all of the events has to be what Mya planned for me though, it was outstanding. It started off at her work, I met her mom at their house and we traveled over to her work for a glass of wine and some cake. I have to say I am not much of a wine person but it was a wonderful thought. Then we were off to the Everclear concert. I have to say ya’ll, I wasn’t very happy because at that point in time I didn’t even know of the band and I had to pay to see them. It sounds dumb I know, but I lost the attitude as soon as they started playing. God this band is awesome in concert, and we were so close to the stage, it was like a dream. I felt kind of left out because Mya and her mom were enjoying the music together, they have obviously been diehard fans for a while. Though I was just bopping in the background I still had a great time! I mean their songs were outstanding, their antics were hilarious, and the lead guitarist was drool worthy! I liked it when the lead singer started chewing a guy in front of the stage out because he was smoking weed in front of him. Poor guy didn’t want a contact high now that he is clean and sober *tear*. Oh and one more word about the concert, I love the way they jump! It makes me happy, I like it when singers and their band mates jump around. I am such a weirdo! At any rate on to the rest of the nigh…As it was my first 19th celebration with friends I had the classic crying time. I don’t even know what it was about. It might have been partially because I had to hold Myas bag while her and her mom danced on stage. I use the had to word lightly, because I just did it without anyone asking me, so it was really my own fault. But I think it was more because I was so happy that I was finally able to start hanging out with my best friend after so many years of estrangement, and I was regretting all the years we had been estranged and just started balling my eyes out. I don’t know all of the reasons why I was crying, but it took me 10 minutes to collect myself and then I was ready to go again. The bad part was that we had to go on the sky train, and I hate that thing. I always get transit face. Mya thought I was mad and kept trying to cheer me up. Poor thing, all she was trying to do was make me feel like I was loved, and I love her for that! Oh and I forgot to mention Mya looked like a total rock star that night, just b-e-a-ultiful. Anyways after the transit Megan (Myas friend) Mya and I met up with Jordan and Scott. We then walked to the buffalo club, after taking a cab half way there…I think, I don’t really remember. Once we got there, there was some confusion about the guest list, but we wound up getting in, hurrah! I got in free because it was my “birthday” haha lies lies lies! Once we got inside Mya bought me a beer with caffeine in it, that tasted very interesting….but not necessarily bad. After I got my beer Mya looked at the lead singer up on stage and suddenly I was being invited on stage. Me!!! On stage!!! For my 19th birthday!!!! This was Myas surprise for me, for my birthday present. She called in a favor from her BF the base guitarist of the buffalo clubs house band, to get my up on stage!!! I got to dance with a tambourine for the birthday song, YOU SAY IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!! Shelly (the lead singer) spilled my beer so I got a new one, and then she let me stay up there for one more song. She was so great to me, and it was cool because there were girls from Byng there who saw me up on stage. The second song I was up there for I got to sing parts of the chorus. I want you to want me! That was awesomely fun, and I was instructed to shake my tits and dance sexy so I did. Well I did my best to dance sexy, which to me is the dance from the bad girls episode of Buffy…hehehe. Once the song was over she wished me a happy birthday and picked me up in a hug. God that was all such a rush, such a freaking rush! I just cant even express how awesome of a present it was. Thank you Mya!! Thank you times 1000! That night I also got to dance with Scott and Jordan which was really fun. It is amusing to watch boys dance to songs they hate! I also got to pretend to punch Scott in the face during the “hit me with your best shot” song. I had so much fun that night, but got kind of sick from the free birthday shot that I consumed when I didn’t know that it had vodka in it. I soured myself on vodka so there was a lot of sitting and clutching my stomach that ensued. I would write more about the night, but most of the rest of it I don’t really want to rehash just yet. Maybe next time I am up at 11:30pm. Alright well goodnight my freaky darlings, I love you, ciao :< )

Quite the predicament I am in

2005-06-21T00:20:00.001-07:00

Hurrah

Ode to Obesity

2005-06-06T16:02:00.000-07:00

Batten down the hatches kiddies, Vanessa hates herself! Well I don't particularly hate myself, I just hate the way I look. People keep telling me that if I don't like it I should work out. They should shut their thin mouthes! Assholes! I do work out, you cocks, fuck y'all!

What Is This Thing I Do?

2005-05-07T23:22:00.000-07:00

It's you and me and all other people, and I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you. Just thought I would write down the lyrics to the song I am currently obsessed with. It really describes me to a T, except there is no one person to represent the "you". Every person who has touched me (emotionally pervs) has left a mark, and now I stare bewildered. I don't know how to thank them, I don't know how to describe it, it just is. If I could thank them somehow I would even thank those who have left me. With every person who drifts out of my life, I gain insight. For some it is introspective, I change myself because it was my actions that caused them to leave. Other times it is retrospective, I learn from the experience and decide whether I would want to duplicate it or not. I think I would duplicate all of the experiences that have caused people to drift, because even when it was bad, the good was still there somewhere. I sometimes wonder what happens to make friendships end, whatever it is, it has obliterated almost all of my “best friendships”. It hasn’t got Tara yet, but it is just a matter of time. I think it is me…I don’t keep in touch as much as I should, and I am not attentive enough. Well if that is the case I am just going to have to get use to being left, because I can’t change that. I have tried but whenever I do, I just fail. I get mad at myself for failing at it, but I just know I can’t. Something in me isn’t driven when it comes to keeping friendships alive.

Anyways that wasn’t what I wanted to talk about on this thing. I want to talk about work, and working life, and what it has done for my mentality. I just love working so much! It makes me feel like I am actually doing some good with my time, rather than sit on my ass and click through msn conversations. I don’t think there is anything wrong with doing that, but I just don’t want to anymore. My buttocks have expanded quite enough for now. My job up at SFU is physically challenging because it is housekeeping. I know what you are thinking, wait did you just connect housekeeping and physically challenging? Are you mental? Well you try going up and down 16 sets of stairs to make 16 beds, blah! Then my Marks job is well challenging because it is a guessing game. I never thought that I could be a cashier. However I am relatively good at it at the moment. I feel like I am really catching on. Working two jobs leaves little to no time for dicking around, which is good for me. I have done far too much dicking around lately. It is unhealthy and it makes me crazy, literally. Anyways I just thought I would write in and say I LOVE WORK, I (HEART) WORK. I also like the people I am working with. The cleaning team is a barrel of laughs and insight, and well the marks team seems nice I am only three days in. Goodnight my freaky darlings, I hope I haven’t bored you.

LIFEHOUSE LYRICS

"You And Me"

What day is it?

And in what month?

This clock never seemed so alive

I can't keep up and I can't back down

I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to lose

And it's you and me and all of the people

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right

I'm tripping on words

You've got my head spinning

I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to prove

And it's you and me and all of the people

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now

I can't quite figure out

Everything she does is beautiful

Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to doNothing to lose

And it's you and me and all of the people

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

and me and all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to prove

And it's you and me and all of the people

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?

And in what month?

This clock never seemed so alive

Double Kisses!

2005-05-02T16:28:00.000-07:00

Leave it to be fellow drama class members to use me as and example of this, hahaha! Acting is fatastic!

goodbye my friends....

2005-05-02T16:20:00.000-07:00

Well I guess I can finally update this thing now…now that I am officially over whatever was getting me down. I can’t believe it has been over a month since I wrote anything about my life anywhere. That kind of worries me, because if I don’t write it, I say it. I shudder to think how much self absorbed hot air has tufted out of my mouth since I have neglected my diary and my blog. As Kyle, Tara, and Rehana read this they are probably mouthing to themselves “a lot!”. Poor things, they are usually the victims of my hot air tuft attacks. I can’t exactly say “well no more!” because that’s just about as true as if I was to say “I am never going to get myself down again” ahahahhaha yah that’ll happen (she said, the statement dripping with overly sweetened sarcasm). I couldn’t believe my second semester turn around though. I went from loving mostly every minute that I was inhaling, to feeling like a boneless fishy flopping about on the cement “breezeway” at SFU. After my last entry I decided it was time to get over myself though. Ha! As much as it is possible for me, the queen of self absorbedness, to try not to focus on my own idiotic problems. It worked though, I slowly got myself on the recovery band wagon, and on it I found my entire friends group. Pretty much every person I knew was having a tough cerebral time in residence second semester. Some decided to lock themselves in their rooms, some tried to sleep it off and wound up in a walking coma because when they awoke the problem wasn’t gone, so it was back to bed, and some decided that denial was their friend, and created their own interesting world that kind of emulated the second season of the O.C. We all got better though, and yes if you are wondering I am a part of the O.C. group. I was living in a dramatic delusional world, for lots and lots and lots of reasons. That was not why I was depressed though, I was sad because until about a month ago I was in this tumultuous friendship with someone who it was virtually impossible for someone of my overdramatic origins to befriend for a long period of time. I was stuck in the “on again/off again” FRIENDSHIP, I didn’t even think that those existed! Ultimately I had to end the friendship, which was immensely hard. He got the hint though, and we haven’t spoken for going on two months. I really can’t believe it some times, but it is really for the best. After all what I have heard from a mutual connection is that he is happy and making good on everything he his doing, so hurrah for my former Australian buddy! Anyways in the words of Monty Python “I got better”, and I really did. I got out of my gridlocked life pattern. I still smile when I think about the bits of the box I broke out of littering the floor of my residence room. I needed to move on from my high school mentality and for the most part I have. In turn the last month of residence, for me, was amazing! It was back the way I remembered it. I guess I will abbreviate the last few weeks for you,
1. I finished all of my exams, and was pretty confident about them
2. Rehana and I had a good time hanging out together just like we did all fricking semester. Honestly she is one of the most creatively grand people I have ever had the pleasure of spending time with. She lived on my floor so we hung out daily and constantly made each other laugh. It was her simple misunderstanding of why I was in the “on again/ off again” thing that eventually was the last straw in the reasons for its inevitable demise. I went to the airport with her at 8:30am to see her off, god that was sad. I was bawling my eyes out when she walk through the boarding gates, I SUCK suckity suck suck and saying goodbye forever.
3. I hung out with D’Arcy a lot during the last three days of rez, which was fun, funny and rocking. A couple bouts of movies, and good conversation if I do say so myself.
4. There was a huge residence party. WOW is all I can say, that was one fun fricking time!! There were some not so great occurrences, but um…uh, er,…..I….had…fun……...
5. the goodbyes….oh the goodbyes, so many great words to say about the goodbyes and the people I said goodbye to for the summer and for forever, but for now I will just say. I feel amazing when I am around all of you, and thank you for befriending me, despite my highly annoying demeanor.

Well that is all I have to say for now about that. I am having a great time at my job as a cleaning lady for residence and housing up at SFU. Sarah, Irene, Jeremy, Joel, and Dan, ahahaha we make a crack team! And I had a great time yesterday, I went out to Aldergrove to visit Kyle and he took me out to Abbotsford because I had never been…ehehe sorry I forgot to mention I suck at being a Vancouverite, I never break out of my snow globe. I just am the luckiest chicky ever to have the friends that I have… Until my next entry I bid you all a fond farewell, goodnight my freaky darlings, kiss kiss!

I Was Hoping.....

2005-02-25T19:49:00.000-08:00

I was hoping to run into you tonight,
in the place between chaos and stillness,
the place where I live.

I was hoping that you could accept the evil in me,
the part that makes idle jabs at everyone I love,
every single day.

I was hoping that you could forgive the part of me,
the part that cant forgive,
and set me on the path to forgiveness.

I was hoping that you could look me in the eyes,
and tell me without words,
that every part of me is loved.

I was hoping that you could,
laugh away all of my blunders,
and tell me it will be okay.

I was hoping to find a reason in you to keep on living every day.
I was hoping that you could show me what it is to be alive,
I was hoping to find enough strength in me to try.
I was hoping to see all the ugly in me become beautiful in you.
But most of all I was hoping to accept that me is you.

For everyone who is getting ready to hide the knives and confiscate the pill bottles, this is not a suicidal poem. It it is about personal acceptence!!!! PERSONAL ACCEPTENCE, goodness sakes alive. I feel like Micheal Jackson after he released the "black or white" music vidio. *Micheal voice* Very sorry to have scared you, worrie not, I FEEL HAPPY!!! Anyways last night was grand, we had mexican night, I will post pictures. MYA CAME TOO WITH MARK, THEY ROCK MY WORLD!!! MYA MY PRECIOUS BEST FRIEND, THANKYOU FOR COMING HERE~!!!! More late, love to the people I scared, I didn't mean to,....byyyyyyyyeeeeeeee *ow*

2005-02-06T15:33:00.000-08:00

Fox, Marieka and Vanessa.... sexy people

2005-02-06T15:32:00.000-08:00

Kyle and Fox, super swave

2005-02-06T15:31:00.001-08:00

Kyle and Vanessa

2005-02-06T15:31:00.000-08:00

Erick and Vanessa

Once, Twice, Three Times...A Laday!

2005-01-27T02:00:00.001-08:00

Well here is my partner in crime, the mastermind of the wonderful joke, LINDSAY! We had so much fun on this project, and I look forward to more none fan club related schemes...

Take Me To Your Leader

2005-01-27T02:00:00.000-08:00

I never in a million years thought I would be caught wearing this kind of a shirt. I never had a backstreet boys shirt or an N'SYNC shirt, now look at me! I am wearing a D'Arcy fan club shirt! It is the stars I thank because this shirt was the greatest joke ever invented. Lindsay and I were bored the other night, and she wanted to make D a shirt. We decided to make it a fan club shirt, as he had told us earlier that he had one back home, and thought it was funny. We spent half Tuesday night printing off the lettering and then ironing it on the shirt. Then on Wednesday we went around getting random girls to sign it. It's a good thing people in residence are so trusting, for I do believe we only had to tell two girls what they were signing and why. Later that night we presented it to him and he thought it was INCREDIBLY FUNNY. Oh and poor Marieka wanted her signature back because she doesn't want to be in a D'Arcy fan club, sorry babe permanent marker is permanent. Unless you get ahold of some bleach and steal the shirt...hehehe...Anyways enough about this silly fictional fan club and back to real life. Wednesday had other funny parts to it, one of my favorites being the fact that Kyle, Marieka, Tara, Katie, Fox and Debbie all came to my window in formal attire. That was one of the most amusing things I had ever seen. Would have been more funny if one of them had been riding a white steed *Vanessa, Vanessa, let down you hair*. Instead there was a bunch of yelling and me laughing. I feel kind of like I have fallen out of the 7th floor circle and it is making me sad, but I am sure i'll fall back in time. It's the damn fan club, the meetings are taking over my life! Ha! Not! Anyways tonight was interesting, I went to Lougheed with Tara tonight which was fun, and then Lindsay and I had a spa night! For today all I have to say is, I will actually be going to Psychology as I have a midterm on Tuesday....yikes!

2005-01-14T16:26:00.000-08:00

Kyle and Fox at White Spot, that was a good time "crotch table for 5" hehehehehehhe anyways yah I like this pic

2005-01-14T16:25:00.000-08:00

Debbie and I on the bus going to Metrotown with everyone, on our first day back

2005-01-14T16:24:00.000-08:00

Marieka on the massage chair, she looks funny:)

2005-01-14T16:22:00.000-08:00

Lindsay and Kyle singing along to Bohemian Rapsody in Mariekas room, before my crazy adventure on the bus

2005-01-14T16:11:00.000-08:00

This is Megan and I on my first day back in Residence.....

2005-01-14T16:02:00.000-08:00

This is Sareena, I met her on the bus on Saturday and went on a crazy adventure with her to Value Village, and then downtown to look for boots.

Can you feel the Love tonight..(Music Note)

2005-01-07T03:57:00.000-08:00

Tonight was fun, after I got back from my insane walk with my Terrier, I went to dinner with Renee and Kevin. It was awesome to hang out with them, and hear some of Renee's stories about SFU. If your wondering about this picture, Renee wanted me to take a picture of both of us kissing Kev in the Cheek, but as you can see it didn't really work out that well. I still think it looks cute:) I really would write more if I hadn't poured so much energy into the last post which I did about 3 minutes or so ago, night my delightful dears:)

And now for something...COMPLETELY different

2005-01-07T03:55:00.000-08:00

Well this was an interesting way to kick off the new year, I got my hair cut and colored...but I didn't take my usual safe rout of a little darker a little shorter..oh no! not this time! I cut it short, got bangs, and dyed it the darkest brown possible. Ummm I do believe *concerned* is what I am right now...... Wondering if this is how I am going to live the rest of 2005, throwing baby steps to the wind and jumping into everything face first.....That might be kind of fun, but.....It could go horribly wrong.... For my hair not so much because I don't really care about it anymore, I have gone through a range of emotions about it because that’s the kind of idiotic person I am, but now I don't care. It's hair, it sits in a mop on top of my head, regardless of cut, color, or style it looks bad sometimes and good sometimes....I'm just thanking my lucky stars that my body isn't covered in long...nearly black hair...YAY I AM NOT A GORILLA! My day is suddenly so much brighter! I really do wonder about this new year though, because I am finally able to live it like it is a new year. Back in High School NEW YEAR meant nothing to me, because as far as I was concerned, same classes, same people, same year. My year use to end in June and start again in September, and for July and August I floated in space without a year to my name. This is all psychologically speaking of course, it's not like I went out burning calendars or anything, and claiming that 2003 had not yet ended until September rolled around. I think I am going to get back to my point now, yes well I do want to live this year like it is finally NEW!! I mean first step NEW LOOK, next step.....uhhh I don't want a new group of friends because I love my friends, OH I know new grade point average!!! Yah that’s it, that is what I will aim for, a new grade point average! I think this semester I will try for a B or B+ average, not too too high class, but not slumming either. What else can I do that isn't academic, mmmm I don't know if I want to dare touch the boyfriend card, because well, all my friends that are in relationships have distance problems... and knowing my luck, I would fall in love with some boy who was visiting from...I don't know...lets just say.....Iraq, roping myself into a disastrous long distance relationship....nooooooo thank-you. I mean some long distance relationships can work, and I know could work with one, but at this age, what is the point? *stares at computer screen reading*....what is the point in relationships at all?....(am I really saying this?)....I mean I know it is wonderful to have someone, I have heard countless "I'm in love and it is the best thing in the world" "Wow Vanessa love is great you should try it" (like it is some kind of cereal you can just pull off the shelf, "does this love taste a bit stale to you?") from my friends who are in love. I just find myself sometimes finding that there isn't a point...because in University you basically have 3 and a half months and then it is over.....and that is if you clobber the guy on the first day, dig your nails in and hold on for dear life, like some scared feline...*REEOWR*....I do want one though, some day....and I might wind up eating my own love cereal this semester,...deep down I hope so...but I still doubt it. I lack the faith needed, and I am sure the guy I fall for will too. Well THAT’S optimistic, nice one Vanessa, why don't you predict your own untimely demise while your at it...or tell the nice people a nice bomb joke...*I have to apologize on behalf of myself because I don't feel like deleting what I have written*. Yes well I think I have discussed my feelings on relationships long distance or otherwise in enough confused detail. I guess the bottom line is, I don't know what the heck I want. There is my goal, haha not deleting things actually helps for once, 2005 goal FIGURE OUT WHAT THE I WANT!...Not for the rest of my life, just for this year, and when I figure it out, try to do something about it. Notice how my goals aren't absolute, I say TRY instead of DO so that I can say I tried by doing something small and the goal is still achieved, hehe. That’s quite enough babble, goodbye my delightful dears.... (yes I did change my catchphrase, quick on the uptake you are)

Best friends at the Party!!!

2005-01-02T01:24:00.002-08:00

Well random people who read my blog, I must now introduce you to my friend of 8 wonderful years........MYA!! She is such an awesome person you guys!!! I would go on but I am not up for typeing a lot right now, I'll do it tomorrow

Tara and I.........At the Party!!!

2005-01-02T01:24:00.001-08:00

Such a cute picture........thats all I have to say right now, night my freaky darlings

New Years Eve........Before the Party

2005-01-02T01:24:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone........Happy New Year <3!!!!> It was also nice to be around my best friend of 8 years for the first time at new years! I mean we have always been best friends but we have never ever spent new years together, which is kind of sad:( But I am hoping this will be the first on many:):):) Yes well I am tired and I have two more pics to explain, night my freaky darlings........

2004-12-26T22:41:00.000-08:00

My Dad and I,...yes yes I know I look A Lot like him, his female counterpart, -33 years

2004-12-26T22:38:00.001-08:00

dad playing allong with his amazing machiene

2004-12-26T22:38:00.000-08:00

singing allong to "while you loved me" while listening to it pumping out of my dads killer speakers

2004-12-26T22:37:00.000-08:00

cassie and I

CHRISTMAS EVE:):)10 Dollar Deposit To The Bank:)

2004-12-26T22:36:00.000-08:00

This is Me at my Grandmas opening my gifts and giving my Grams the money that was in those little sacs to hold, she was me temporary bank:) Anyways Christmas at Gradmas was fun:) I liked decorating her tree, that is always my job, to decorate her fake tree, tee hee... I know fake trees aren't the most glamerous thing, but they are so much easier to decorate, and fun to bend and mold.

Umm...Is This Thing On?

2004-12-23T04:54:00.000-08:00

Hey one more fun detail, THE CAMERA HAS A REMOTE!!! I was playing with it in my room while I was talking to a buddy of mine online, it was so much fun!!! LOok everyone it is a Betty Boop hat! Isn't it darling?????!!!!! Anyways that is really quite enough for now, oh and LINDSAY, here are some pics from life at home....hehe now you are mentioned annnnd you have pics, go me killing my two birds with the coolest freaking stone ever!!! night freaky darlings I really must away!!

The Phantom Of The Opera Is THERE (and sexy)

2004-12-23T04:53:00.000-08:00

Hey people, yes still more to report, I also saw one of my friends from high school tonight. Holly MY GREAT FRIEND FROM GRADE 8, known her longer than TARA I have...hehe....speak like Yoda I do!! Anyways not the point, after the digital camera pallusa, I went downtown to meet HOLLY at 9:30pm(I got there right on time, on the dot, I was proud, considering I didn’t get the main bus until 9:10pm) to hang out and drink coffee before we went to see Phantom at 10:15pm. Now I wouldn't have gone to it if it wasn't Holly, because I am also going to it with Kyle, but it is worth seeing again, and again, and again. It was so good!!! This is coming from someone who has seen it live twice, and once in LONDON!!! AKA I know what I am talking about, so don't question me! HEHE I mean there were some parts where the singers were a bit iffy, but in the end, oh god, I cried, like a baby! I want the phantom to get Christine, god damn it! And the phantom in the movie...god was he sexy, like s-e-x-y!!! I wanted him to come out of the screen, I swear I would be anyone for that boy! Talented, amazing singer, amazing everything. A bit of a deformity, but who isn't a bit deformed in some way? we all have our ugly parts, but I love people for they hot and ugly parts:) Anyways yes good movie, great cast, hot with a capital H Phantom, dear lord! Yes and I took my digital cam with me because well I haven't seen Holly in 6 months, this meeting needed to be documented:) we look sooooo cuuuute in this picture too!! Yes well that’s all I have for now, The Phantom is HOT, and I HAVE A DIGITAL CAMERA, night my freaky DARLINGS...:)

Uhhh...Thats Not A Gnome....

2004-12-23T04:51:00.000-08:00

I GOT A DIGITAL CAMERA!!!! Hey everyone, I have stuff to report!! Good news, my sleeping pattern is back on track, for all of you who were worried... and oh yah I GOT A DIGITAL CAMERA!!! Can you believe it? I mean would you believe it??? Anyways yes I will rewind a little bit it before I got the camera....Kevin and Renee my godparents came over tonight for a little pre Christmas get together, because we can't really do anything on Christmas Day or Christmas Eve, because I spend both of those days away from home....Eve with Grandparents, and Co and then....Day with Daddy dearest...For all of you who know me, that last reference will make you laugh. Yes well they came over and after everyone was settled I gave them their gifts to open first. Now ya'll I don't know what it is that happened to me this Christmas, but I have started putting a lot of creative thought into peoples presents, and I am proud of myself! For Renee I bought a tote bag from Holt Renfrew, because these people travel like there is an epidemic, honestly, it's essential to have a tote! And for Kevin, I bought stainless steel pen with a base to balance in! I wish I had taken a picture because it is awesome, oh yah and I also bought them a "Happiness is being married to your best friend" coaster...I think it's cute because they act like best friends most of the time, and I am pretty sure that is how they feel about each other. Yes well anyways, they said they loved their gifts and I was so happy, I mean they have given me so much, and I hoped that I could do the same for them for once:) I have to admit they did out do me though...They bought me a digital camera, which they kept saying was a garden gnome because the box was so big, A DIGITAL CAMERA!!! Gosh I can't even believe I actually own one! I have wanted one for so long! So I could be a regular Peter freaking Parker in residence, instead of using up two disposable ones and crying when I had to pay to get the pictures developed. Yes so this is a picture of Me, my Mom, Kevin and Renee, I think it is TRES adorable don't you? Anyways my freaky darlings on to the next event, even though this one, this gift, is so monumental!! I can't even express in words how happy I am, or how much fun I am having, I mean....gosh!!! I think the last time I was this happy was my laptop....But I wasn't as surprised for that one, because my Dad made my mom ruin the surprise...boo!!!!! And for all of you who think I am totally materialistic, DON'T!!! I am not just happy because I have these things, it is what I can use them for! And I know that these things cost money, and I was absolutely floored when I saw it...A DIGITAL CAMERA in that box!!! I don't even know if I will ever get over it! When I get a job, I am going to try to treat everyone like royalty, just to repay what they have done for me, wow, I MEAN WOWY ZOWIE!!!

The Dad!

2004-12-22T17:58:00.001-08:00

If any of you are wondering how I got to be the way I am, your looking at it! This is my crazy, but loveable father and his Christmas present that he bought for himself. He bought himself a guitar, ain't it purdy??? Anyways it is dinner time, gotsta go, bye bye freaky darlings....:)

Sqooshy Friends

2004-12-22T17:58:00.000-08:00

Well I noticed that there was a complaint from a friend of mine in a comment on one of my bloggs so I decided to be good and fix what it was that I had done to make them complain. This is a picture of TARA, with Grace and Will, from residence. Tara is one of the greatests friends I could ever ask for!! We have been freinds for almost 5 years and I love her to bits! The reason why I don't mention her all that often is because she is so much a part of my life that I forget that people actually don't know that she was with me...hehe....So yah she was also at the Mistletoe night, and people pressured her into kissing grace on the cheek, it was cute:) Then Fox kissed will! It was a kisspalusa people! Anyways yes, random people who read my blog, meet TARA MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER:) Who goes to the same school as me, and lives in residence aswell:) she is great you all should get to know her, if you don't allready! She is the reason I started reading "Sloppy Firsts", because she bought it for me for my birthday.....I love that book so much, and though I know I am nothing like the main character I still relate to her, and feel like I have found my Marcus allready....no not my brother Marcus, ew! hehe a guy I know that isn't named Marcus... Enough of my random babbleing though, aka enough talk, it is time for me to go on to a new blog!! Bye TARA much love!!! Oh and GRACE the loveable foreigner, thankyou so much for always COMMENTING on my blog, it makes me feel like I am not simply talking to myself:):):), bye bye my freaky darlings

I Win!

2004-12-20T03:51:00.002-08:00

REMEMBER PEOPLE I MADE IT SO THAT ANYONE CAN COMMENT, AND LEAVE YOUR NAME AT THE BOTTOM SO I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!<3
Well this was the aftermath of the mistletoe sturuggle, I did actually wind up getting it out of his mouth eventually, eventually being the oprative word! Yah so I hope you enjoyed my slide show, I find the pics incredibly funny, and wanted to share the laughter, anyways I am going to bed, goodnight my freaky darlings......

Resistance Is Futile!

2004-12-20T03:51:00.001-08:00

It took me a while to get it back as you can tell, I am still squishing and he still has it in his mouth. "Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it, a kiss can be more deadly if you mean it" sorry I wanted to quote Batman for a second

Out Of Breath!

2004-12-20T03:51:00.000-08:00

Yes I won it back, he still wound up eating leaves but better leaves than the whole thing. It was so funny, I can't even get over it. But going around kissing people was fun and funny too! I think the most fun was Kyle because I snuck up behind him, muhahahahahaha

Talk About Having Something Stuck In Your Teeth

2004-12-20T03:49:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone, exams are over, everyone is gone and I am back home. I know I have not reported in a while and I am sorry, but my hello picture posting program wasn't working and I was kind of busy seeing people off each night/morning of the week, after Wednesday. Anyways if your wondering, I think my exams went fairly well, and I am so glad they are over:) I don't know it is the weirdest feeling....being done... I kind of feel like I should be doing something....I guess this feeling is still left over from High School when I use to take my books home every winter break to "study"....I didn't do anything back then either, but I still had something to do if I ever felt like it...now all I can do is read for pleasure because I really don't have anything to do. Wow if that isn't a spin out I don't know what is! Yes well once I finished my English and Philosophy exams on Wednesday, I actually RAN back to residence, I was so happy! I can't even express the feeling, it was better than the feeling of being done my provincial exams! Then again that is probably because I don't really have to worry too much about my exam marks this semester, just as long as I don't get myself put on academic probation. At any rate I am not going to focus on that right now, as I did get a B- in Criminology, and I thought I had failed the final..lol guess I didn't;) I have to admit I am rather happy with that mark even though I know it is not the best I could have done! Now that I have told you that, I shall go on to tell you what I did after I ran back to residence filled with glee....I went to Metrotown to buy my Mistletoe! Yes that’s right I bought it!!!! But I didn't have the nerve to use it until Friday night because people kept telling me that no one would go along with it, and I wasn't quite up for people looking at my like I was psychotic. While I was at Metrotown I met up with Sarah and we went downtown to see the movie "Closer". While I was watching that movie, the only thing I could think was "god I wish my life moved that fast". I mean I swear these people fell in love in an instant and had to do barely any work to date each other!!! does this happen in real life? does it? I wish it worked for me, but it doesn't....I never wind up dating the boys I fall for, and I fear I never will...:( Anyways not the point, after the movie Sarah went home and I went back to residence.....I can't really remember what exactly I did on Thursday.....ummm oh no wait I know I went home and brought Lindsay with me...hehe I wanted to get my vacuum, because it was way too dusty in my room. The trip was amusing because we ran into these strange homeless people who kept talking to each other about how enlightening meth was....Lindsay and I had to try to conceal our giggles while they were doing that, then they started talking to us....that was also interesting because one of the guys took the notes that Lindsay had with her and told her he would give her a B on her paper because it was organized and informative. Now I am sorry but....aren't notes always organized and informative? lol anyways once we got back I rearranged my room, which I will post pictures of when I get back there, 3 weeks from now.....you'll just have to wait okay:P Yes well Friday was an awesome day, I stayed up until 6am cleaning my room, and waiting for Patricia to nock on my door because she was leaving and I wanted to say goodbye! She and her boyfriend were my first mistletoe victims, I was happy. Once I bid her a fond farewell, I went to bed and didn’t wake until 2pm. That meant I missed Lindsay going into town….so I decided to go into town with Will and the gang…god I miss the gang already and I am only one day into home life…:S not a good sign. Anyways after that I went home for a bit to get ready for party time, I don’t know why I wanted to do that but I had fun talking to Lindsay about what to wear…hehehe I am such a girl sometimes. At any rate this brings me to the picture reel that you are going to look at. I brought the mistletoe with me because I figured drunkards would cooperate with mistletoe and I was right. I ran around kissing everyone on the cheek under the mistletoe which was incredibly fun I have to say. There was one person who sort of objected to the mistletoe and that was D’Arcy, I still kissed him but then he decided to eat it! Now usually I wouldn’t care, but ya’ll mistletoe IS poisonous, yes so this is a little montage of what occurred once he bit the mistletoe. This is picture one, D’Arcy bites mistletoe, Vanessa squishes his face to open his jaw to get it back….next??

Feel'n Fine

2004-12-09T21:11:00.000-08:00

Hello:) I am feeling wonderful today....because I A)Got a B- on my Criminology term paper and B) only have two more exams to write and then I am done. Family unit that reads this....if you are wondering how I think I did on my exam, the answer is...not well...I am going to do better on my English and Philosophy Of Critical Thinking exams though, because I am starting my studying now. Oh more good news....I got a job serving drinks at a wedding for a day with Lisa, so that will be 32 dollars in my pocket:) Anyways all that was true yesterday, but the awesome thing that happened today, was getting up at 2:30 without feeling any guilt and then going shopping. I don't know what it is, but Marieka and I always have a crazy fun time shopping together, even if I am tired and penniless, something funny seems to occur. I got Lindsay and Tara's present today, I hope they like them.........I also TRIED to find mistletoe today, but the lady in the flower shop told me that they wouldn't have any in until Tuesday because the mistletoe missed the plane that would have had it here today!......Oh well I need to go back there anyways when I have money again...... Hopefully I suddenly acquire money after my exams on the 15th so I can run back to Metro and buy the prezzies and mistletoe. My mistletoe day MUST happen! well I am actually pretty sure it won't, but I have never actually had mistletoe in my possession before, so it might be a cool thing for me to just have it on my person without using it. Anyways I have gone on for long enough, it is time for me to read! Oh and for all of you who read this, I am not going to be on msn again till the 15th, so your going to have to call me or come and see me if you want to talk to me, night:) Oh yah, and I decided to put a super cute pic up, yay for hats:) bye bye

Exam Stress

2004-12-07T21:01:00.000-08:00

Okay not the best picture of me, but it is the day before my Criminology final and I dont feel prepared atall, so I guess I am forgiven. Not a lot has happened as of late, other than me coming up with "Mistletoe Day". I hope that day works out it will be fun, anyways I have to get back to studying....byeee

I am crazy!

2004-12-02T06:12:00.000-08:00

well this is all of us at about 12pm yesterday, blahhh, I am up late writing an essay, or rather editing it, it is allready written....;) Anyways yesterday was a werid day, full of action but weird all the same. I did my drama scene with Eric, ate christmas dinner, and then had a movie night in my room with Lindsay and D'Arcy. We are becoming quite the little trio lately, like the 3 amigos, and yet not like them at all. Anyways I am off to finish editing and all that, byeeee. Wow I love how I am making so much sence, well self it is not my job to make sence at 6:20am, god damn it, procrastinators suuuuuuck!!! It's December!

Lindsay The Princess

2004-12-02T06:11:00.001-08:00

lol, Lindsay makes herself comfortable on my bed.

Eric does not look impressed hehehe

2004-12-02T06:11:00.000-08:00

Eric and Lindsay chill in my room when were suppose to be rehersing :P:P:P:P

Scene Partner

2004-12-02T06:09:00.000-08:00

It's ERIC!!!! Ta da! oh yah our scene went well, steven liked it and I got to be a complete whore, litterally.

Record Breaking Rockers

2004-11-30T20:46:00.000-08:00

This was taken just before we beat everyones record. THATS RIGHT, WE ROCK!!!!

Sister Sister, well not really but it looks like it

2004-11-30T20:45:00.000-08:00

Look it is Lindsay and I with our trays, we look soooo cuuuute

SNOW DAY PART TWO

2004-11-30T14:22:00.000-08:00

This is Lindsay, D'Arcy and I after we went on our run of a life time! It was amazing, we beat everyone elses records when we went down together the second time. We tried to duplicate it a couple of times, but no dice. God I love snow:) byeee y'all

SNOW DAY PART ONE

2004-11-30T14:20:00.000-08:00

This is Kyle and Fox going down the hill at Burnaby Mountain Park. IT SNOWED TODAY AND IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME:)

Oh Dear, This Can't Be Good

2004-11-25T20:46:00.000-08:00

Well today was interesting in a bad way.... Firstly I slept through both of my morning classes because I got to bed really late.....I don't even know why I got to bed so late, Marieka and I got back from running at about 2am but I didn't wind up going to bed until much later. I guess it was partially because I was daydreaming but none of the daydreams were turning into dreams! I hate it when I get that kind of a sleep because it is all the damn imagry without the rest! Anyways after that wonderful realization, I tried to write my english essay and I got a bit of it done, but nothing spectacular. While I was writing it Marieka messaged me telling me that she and a bunch of other floor 7er's had recieved level 5's for jumping in the elevator and now run the risk of eviction! Marieka is one of my really good friends here!!! I don't want her to get evicted,especially for something that stupid! :(:(:(:(:( And she and D'Arcy weren't even jumping in the bloody elevator! I swear I don't understand the assignment of levels in this place, it seems so random and irrational. Tara got a level for drinking and no one ever saw her drink, D'Arcy got one for wandering around on the 8th floor when he had never even been there, Marieka got one for having a flag on her door, and then for giving "lip" to a CA when all she did was ask for her flag back! I'll report more later Lindsays here

Feeling LIke Making Out With Drywall?

2004-11-20T15:21:00.000-08:00

Hey I went a bit crazy yesterday and downloaded a bunch of old pop songs when I should have been finishing my Criminology essay.....When I was doin that I came across and this really good new song by soul decision that...in a way.. applies to my life.....And if you want to see the music video just go to www.souldecision.com. when you get there click on "go to the theater" and then click on the first admision one. It is pretty cool, but you know anythings cool when it helps you procrastinate, in my oppinion anyways:)

Soul Decision: Kiss The Walls lyrics

I'd rather kiss the walls,
Than have to say I'm sorry,
Even when I'm right, I'm wrong.
Don't deny,
You left while I was sleeping,
You put out my lively creeping,
Oh, I can't sleep at all.

You don't know what it means
To sacrifice.
Baby, you just want to believe,
That you're always right.

So I'm leaving,
Must have been dreaming,
If I thought you believed in me at all,
But you don't even sing my songs,
You just hum along,
You can't wait til they are done.
Tell me how can I love someone,
When I'd rather kiss the wall?

You kiss me in the sky,
To keep my arms around you,
And let my love surround you,
But you kept your love aside.

You bled me dry,
Took all the love left in me,
Took all your love to give me,
And you wrapped it up in lies.

Baby, you don't know what it means
To sacrifice.
Baby, you just want to believe
That you're always right.

So I'm leaving,
Must have been dreaming
If I thought you believed in me at all,
But you don't even sing my songs,
You just hum along,
You can't wait til they are done.
Tell me how can I love someone,
When I'd rather kiss the wall?

When I'm wrong, you're right,
But I'll be leaving you tonight.
I'm so right, and you're so wrong,
You can be right here and all alone.

Cause I'm leaving,
Must have been dreaming
If I thought you believed in me at all,
But you don't even sing my songs,
You just hum along,
You can't wait til they are done,

So I'm leaving,
Must have been dreaming
If I thought you believed in me at all,
Oh, you don't even sing my songs,
You just hum along,
You can't wait til they are done,
Oh no, tell me how can I love someone,
When I'd rather kiss the wall?

~Bye

Photos, and more photos!

2004-11-18T22:37:00.000-08:00

Just to let all of you know, i fixed this so that anyone can leave comments, so do it, and leave your name at the bottom for fun, okay night:)

Well today was severely lacking in interesting events until about 6pm when I decided to give myself a bit of a makeover and go to dinner with Lindsay. It was weird, people I know kept commenting on my "new look" and all i did was put on eye makeup and dry my hair straight. It is amazing what people notice and comment on honestly. Anyways after the dinning hall experience I went home and took a bunch of pictures because I was bored, of which this is one. Oh yah if you haven’t already figured this out I am a bit of a narcissist, haha but the only narcissistic quality I poses is the one that causes me to take loads of pictures of myself, but I don't love myself or anything.....well....maybe just a bit ;) but not too too much.... Anyways I am talking to Milo so I can’t say anything more for a while. adios
fun with lights

2004-11-18T22:36:00.000-08:00

pics are cool

Christmas In The Middle Of November

2004-11-18T01:42:00.000-08:00

Yay, I just finished my Criminology readings and listened to the celebration song from the movie Beetlejuice! I am also feeling happy because I downloaded a bunch of Christmas songs and am getting myself in a very Christmassy mood. I don't really know why, I guess it is because I watched the movie "Elf" and loved it so much that I had to download songs from it....and then that led to me wanting to download my favorite Christmas songs ultimately making me submerge myself in Christmas songs. Above is a picture of me from last Christmas, when I had really short hair. I made Christmas cards for my friends with this on them, haha I bet your remember that Tara. Anyways now I have to go and either get some sleep, or start tackling my classics of criminology textbook readings....Oh I guess that means I lied about being done. I didn't mean to, I just meant that I was done my Sacco and Kennedy textbook readings, anyways Merry really really early Christmas y'all

I Am Truly Styling,....Hair That is

2004-11-16T19:51:00.000-08:00

Check it out, I styled both of these boys hair into little tiny pigtails all over their heads! This is a picture from Halloween weekend, which was a very very fun weekend! I thought I would post it because it amuses me! Oh and for those of you who don't know who these boys are, they are D'Arcy and Dan. D'Arcy is the one who looks like he is contemplating the meaning of chips, and Dan is the one getting his hair done. Okay well my day today wasn't that great, I only got about 3 hours of sleep because I couldn’t get to sleep until 5am, and I had to get up at 8am for a 9:30 midterm. The midterm didn't go that well in my opinion, I hope I didn't fail it, I didn't feel like I failed it, but I didn’t feel like I failed the last one…..so….It’s all up in the air. Anyways that’s all I have for news for now……oh and just for Eric’s amusement, “you’re a Halloween come on Vanessa, byeeeeeeeeeee”

Boys will be boys....and I'll tag allong for the adventure

2004-11-11T02:50:00.000-08:00

Okay well today just plain rocked my world! And today started at 12:00am when I decided I wanted to watch "Life As A House" in my common room and eat Vector. When I went in there people were watching Conan O'Brien, and I decided to wait until they were done. It was cool though instead of having to wait for them to finish, they all just left because they had to study and gave the TV to me. Now normally I would be worried by the fact that my presence caused people to leave a room, but I wanted to watch my movie so I decided not to care:) Anyways after they left, I watched Conan for a little bit because 1/2 of the new all female hosting team for SNL was on, she is so funny!..Now while I was doing that and mindlessly eating my cereal one of the football players (Josh) from my floor decided to come in and watch it with me. I felt a little bit awkward when I decided that I wanted to watch my movie, because I had never really talked to him before and I wasn't sure if I should ask him if he was ok with me watching it first. But again I just decided that I didn't care and switched over to my movie. This of course caused him to strike up some sort of dialogue with me because he wanted to know which movie it was. He stayed through almost all of the movie even though he had and 8:30am class, which made me laugh (he has Math in the morning but never goes to sleep before 3am on weekdays, I just don't know how he does it). Anyways we talked through almost the entire movie because we live really near to each other but haven't ever had a reason to talk until then. Ryo (my CA) came in and joined us too, it was a great gathering in the common room at 2 or 3am! The only bad part of that was he stole his couch back from the common room:( Anyways after I watched my movie, I decided it was time for me to go to bed. Now that I think about it, that mightn't have been such a good idea, because of the rash of weird dreams I had, lets just say there were a lot of unexplained occurrences in a bad way. My day was pretty boring after I woke up, all I did was shower go to drama and then go to dinner..Just as I was loosing faith in my day being good again, Robin asked me to come and do something with he and Chad. It was awesome! We went 10 pin bowling, which I had never done before.. Let me tell you folks I really, really, really sucked at it the first time around. I think my score was about 24 or something, and I had a strike at the beginning and the end of the game.....do the math! I recovered in the second game though, in fact I almost beat Robin, but not quite. Chad was of course the champion, and yes he let all of us know that!...After that we came back to residence and I chatted with Kyle and asked him if he wanted to hang out. He said yes, so Chad, Robin, and I went up to 7. It was so weird being up there, having not been there for the beginning of the party. Lets just say it wasn't really that fun, they were all in Brady's room and when we came in everyone decided to go for a walk or leave for other reasons, INCLUDING KYLE, leaving Chad, Robin and I in there alone. This made us decide that perhaps 7 wasn't the place we were to be that night, so we went on an adventure. Chad and Robin went walking around on both of the 8th floors to take a look around because they aren't in residence so they cant get levels for doing so..... Once we had gone on our adventure we decided to go to my common room, and watch Charlie's Angels. Eventually Kyle came to join us because he had finished his laundry.... Yah so now Chad, Robin and Kyle have gone to their respective living areas and I am about to go to bed. I know I have droned on, but no one said you had to read this. Oh yah and I almost forgot, another cool thing about this day was I spent almost the entirety of it surrounded by my guy friends! Yah man!
Ta for now!

Emotional Trauma...Just Kidding

2004-11-09T15:22:00.000-08:00

Don't I look like the happiest camper ever? Well this is why.....I woke up late which means I missed my first two classes. Let me tell you, when I woke up I was so angry that I exclaimed, "OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!". See Cassie I can be exasperated without swearing....haha or is it that I actually did swear and I am just editing it for you....you'll never know! Anyways I made it to my Criminology class on time and sat with Angela. I don't know why but it seems like my Crim teacher does less and less, with every class I attend. In this class we got to watch "The Clifford Plan", wow how uplifting! There is nothing like watching a movie about a cereal killer, who rapes children before he kills them, to brighten up your day. I was thinking, man I just woke up! This is too far from morning cartoons for my liking! Anyways despite that fact it was a rather interesting movie. I liked it because it was finally something that was about crime in Canada without being mind numbingly boring. I can't believe how screwed up our policing jurisdictions are, because of the different cities. Clifford Olsen was able to avoid getting caught for so long because he just offended in different areas of B.C. Then there was the fact that in Surry missing kids are counted as runaways rather than kidnap victims. I couldn't believe how many murders he got away with after the first cop fingered him, I dare you to take a guess! Well screw that ill just tell you, because of the different jurisdictions and how head quarters treats reports given by RCMP officers, Clifford Olsen got away with 7 more murders than he should have. He was caught, convicted and will rot in jail for the rest of his life, thank god. But had HQ listened to the first RCMP officer, 7 lives would have been spared. So yah that is where my mind was before Marieka came over to visit. Well visit and get my notes because she had the same problem I did, except she didn't go to Crim. Anyways she had a wrestling match with my stuffed dog, and it made me laugh. Now I am all ready to go and read some of my Crim textbook:)..CIAO

The First Of Many

2004-11-08T22:22:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone, this is my first blog ever and well I got it because I was sick of Xanga not letting me post any pictures. Today was a pretty lazy day, I didn't get up until about 1pm and then I just read my Philosophy text book until I walked Tara to her meeting with Steven our drama teacher. Yah see what boredom makes me do, randomly walk all the way across campus just to walk all the way back again, oooh fun fun fun. Then after that I went to the dinning hall to buy pizza that is contributing to my chances of dying of heart failure because it is so greasy..... And for all of you who say I could have bought something more healthy and less greasy, to hell with you and your logic! Anyways that is all for now, I shal post more when I figure out more about this blogging stuff, adios!